


The Mourning Star

by BlackValentine



Category: The League Series - Sherrilyn Kenyon
Genre: Blood, Character Death, M/M, SO SORRY, Songfic, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-14
Updated: 2016-05-31
Packaged: 2018-05-26 18:35:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6250990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackValentine/pseuds/BlackValentine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Sentella are in trouble after a mission gone wrong, and the League ships are hot on their tails while their engines fail and the shields drop. In the end, Nero makes the ultimate sacrifice to prevent them from being caught and jailed. *Songfic*</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The song "Say Something" belongs to A Great Big World, and the League characters belong to Sherrilyn Kenyon.  
> The idea of the Mourning Star belongs to me, as do any potential tears.

_“Of course I know the Morning Star, Nero.”_

_...Say something, I’m giving up on you…_

_“Not your human Morning Star, Sher; I’m asking about the Mourning Star.”_

_...I’ll be the one, if you want me to…_

_Syn stared at him like he’d lost his mind. “Okay? What’s the difference?”_

\--------------------------------------

“Get to the ship! Now!”

Nykyrian’s voice was distorted by his helmet, but the rising panic in it was unmistakable. They were going to be trapped here and jailed - if not killed immediately - if they didn’t make it out of here, and neither his nor Darling’s royal standing wouldn’t mean shit. This whole mission had been one disaster after another, and now the last straw was an informant who had turned on them, betraying the location and time of their meeting so that the League was there waiting. And how had the soldiers repaid their spy? By murdering him and using his dead body as a prop for the Sentella to find before they began closing in. 

Nero cursed as blaster shots sizzled passed them and quickly put up a shield, but there were four other Sentella and only one of him, and they were spread out too far for his shield to cover them fully. Something he realized just as a red blast went passed him and straight into Darling’s back, causing him to stumble and fall with a sharp cry. Thankfully Hauk was there and scooped up the much smaller male without even breaking his stride, leaving a trail of blood in their wake. 

Shit. Nykyrian made it to the ship first and lowered the ramp with one hand, using the other to fire back at the oncoming soldiers who were trying to kill them before they could make it out. Hauk flew up the ramp with Darling in his arms, followed quickly by Syn, who helped give cover fire for the last few seconds before Nero and Nyk could make it up. The prince flew to the helm instantly, not even giving them time to buckle or the ramp time to fully close before he took off at breakneck speed.

“They’re closing the doors!”

“This feels awful familiar…” Syn muttered as he joined Nyk at the helm. Nero joined them as well, shaking his head in disbelief.

“Why is it every time I fly with you, Sher, this shit always happens?” He asked as he put his hands out, the yellow aura around him all too familiar with the rest of them by now. Syn chuckled softly, but didn’t comment. He knew they used and abused Nero’s powers far too often, but his mate never complained. Bitched occasionally, of course, but never actually complained. He, like all of them, would do anything for their small family, no matter the cost.

_...Anywhere I would have followed you…_

“Nero…”

Nykyrian’s voice was steady and cold, but Nero could feel the warning behind it. If he didn’t get those doors open, they were going to crash into the solid doors, and Darling’s blaster shot would be the least of their worries. At least they couldn’t take charred ashes to jail…

“Trying,” Nero muttered with gritted teeth, then let out an expulsion of air as the doors snapped open, allowing them freedom out of the hangar and up towards open space. Safe… at least for now.

Syn stood from his chair and motioned for Nero to sit down. “Sit. Let me check you,” he ordered, but Nero shook his head.

“I need to check on Darling.”

“I’ll check on Darling. You sit and rest.”

But Nero just shook his head again, already on his way back down the short hallway to where Hauk was holding Darling protectively in one arm, the other holding tight to a handle so they didn’t go flying.

“How is he?”

“Nero, please…”

“He’s lost a lot of blood,” Hauk responded, red eyes worried as he glanced up at the Trisani, who was obviously ignoring an irritated Syn.

“It’s just a scratch,” Darling muttered, though his features were tight and pale. Nero shook his head and knelt by them.

“Let me see.”

“Nero…”

“Sher, I’m fine,” Nero insisted with a brief glance. “Why don’t you help me check him instead of nagging on me?”

Syn exhaled sharply through his nose, but knelt by his mate’s side without comment as Hauk shifted the smaller male in his arms so they could see. Darling, to his credit, let out a hiss of pain but didn’t punch the Andarion for the sudden movement.

“I can stitch that,” Syn said after examining it, but Nero shook his head once more and pointed to the wound.

“It’s too deep, Sher… you can’t fix that here. This ship isn’t exactly sterile, and I know you don’t carry all of your medical equipment around.”

“Not unless he carries it up his ass.”

Hauk’s comment got him a dark glare from the doctor, but he was right; Syn didn’t have the necessary equipment to properly take care of it right now.

“We can bandage it until we get back, then.”

Syn and Nero fell to the side as the ship suddenly jerked, followed by Nyk’s voice over the intercom informing them they were under attack. Again.

“I don’t think we’re getting back any time soon, Sher.”

“Nero…”

But the Trisani already had a hand on Darling’s back, healing him with a slight grimace of pain. Damn, his head hurt. 

_...Say something, I’m giving up on you..._

Darling gasped and groaned a bit as the wound healed, then relaxed again in Hauk’s arms.

“Better?”

“Better. Thanks,” Darling confirmed with a nod before the ship jerked again and he crawled from Hauk’s arms. “Now let’s go kick some League ass.”

Hauk laughed as he got to his feet and went to man the guns with Darling. Syn helped Nero to his feet and tried to check on his mate, but Nero shifted away and motioned to the helm. 

“Help Nykyrian. I’m not going to die from a migraine.”

“Knowing you, you might…”

Nero rolled his eyes. “I don’t even have a nosebleed, Sher. Go. I’m fine.”

There was obvious protest in Syn’s dark eyes as he met Nero’s silver, but the doctor relented and hurried to go help Nyk as the assassin jerked the ship again to avoid a collision, nearly sending him to the floor. Grabbing the back of the co-pilot’s chair for support, he gaped at the amount of ships that Nyk was flying through while Hauk and Darling fired at them, giving Nyk at least a little leeway. There were so many…

_...And I… am feeling so small. It was over my head; I know nothing at all…_

_\------------------------------------------_

_“The Mourning Star is one of our cherished stars,” Nero had explained to him one day while Syn was busy cleaning his office, leaving the Trisani to hang out in the doctor’s chair. He had offered to help, but his mate was far too OCD for anyone to really help without ending up being in the way, so he had agreed to stay and keep him company instead._

_“Like the Darling star?” Syn smirked, getting a ‘heh’ from Nero._

_“In a way, yes. But while that star is the one which guides us home, the Mourning Star is one that we pray to after the loss of a loved one. It’s said in legend to help one ease through the mourning period by taking the pain offered to it and leaving the praying Trisani with only positive memories of the lost soul.”_

_Syn nodded as he cleaned. Sounded similar to his own beliefs, and though his prayers had all too often gone unanswered, he still held to his faith. “So the star takes away the pain of the loss?”_

_“That’s what the legend says.”_

_“And does it work?”_

_Nero fell quiet for so long that Syn had to look over to make sure the Trisani was still there._

_“...Nero?”_

\-------------------------

“Holy shit, Kip…” Syn muttered in awe, though he snapped out of it quickly when the ship lurched from being hit, sending him slamming into the wall next to him.

“Want to help here?” Nyk asked as he flew quickly to the right to avoid yet another collision. Damn relentless bastards were suicidal in their efforts to bring them down. “I doubt gaping at them is going to make them stop.”  
Syn didn’t comment as he moved quickly into the co-pilot’s chair to help direction him around the ships and search for any possible wormholes in the area. 

“Incoming fast on the left!” He shouted, but before Nyk could even respond, the ship next to them suddenly dropped, slamming into another ship below it before they both disappeared in a ball of smoke and flame. “...what the hell?” Then another dropped… and another… and immediately Syn understood what was going on. “Nero!”

Back in the room Syn had left him, Nero stood holding onto one of the straps to keep himself steady, eyes closed as he concentrated on the battle around them. Aneurysms were indeed a quick and easy death that didn’t take too much out of him, though it would after too many more. If he could just get them more leeway.

“He’s going to kill himself,” Syn growled as he continued helping Nyk work through the ships, most of which were now being taken care of by either their gunners or Nero. Nyk was shooting them occasionally as well if they appeared in front of them, but was concentrating most on getting them out of there.

“Nero knows his limits,” Nyk reminded him quietly, “and he’s helping tremendously. Two guns against this many doesn’t do much, and our charges won’t last forever.”

“Neither will his,” Syn argued. The prince didn’t respond, knowing the stress in his friend’s voice stemmed from his love for the Trisani. Having never expected the doctor to ever trust someone in that way, he knew how precious their relationship was, and how devastated either would be to lose it. 

“Almost there…” Nyk said, then grunted as their ship lurched to one side from another direct hit that made alarms flash up all over his dash.

Hauk growled over the coms. “These fucking suicidal bastards are coming in hard!”

“And they aren’t coming for tea,” Darling added, spinning quickly to shoot another that was aiming for them.

“I’d poison it if they were,” Nero muttered, his features pale as he continued dropping ships around them.

Syn glanced over his shoulder and grit his teeth at his mate’s condition. The second he threw up, he was forcing the Trisani to stop. Somehow.

“Dammit, Nero…”

_...And I… will stumble and fall. I’m still learning to love, just starting to crawl…  
\------------------------_

_“Nero?”_

_The Trisani glanced up when he heard Syn calling his name and cleared his throat softly of the grief that had built there._

_“Sometimes,” he responded quietly, forcing himself to meet his mate’s worried gaze. “I’ve been told it depends how hard you pray, and the circumstances surrounding the death.”_

_Syn nodded and leaned against the counter, no longer interested in cleaning. “How can the circumstances affect it?”_

_“Well, say you murder someone in a fit of rage, and then feel remorse afterwards. The star won’t grant you that relief when you deserve the guilt,” Nero explained, receiving another nod from his mate._

_“That makes sense, but it doesn’t seem fair that the amount you pray affects your relief. Some people are too far lost in grief to even think to pray… or too angry.”_

_Nero nodded in agreement and lowered his gaze away._

_“No, it doesn’t seem fair at all…”_

\----------------------------------------------

“Charges are draining out…” Hauk warned over the coms even as another ship fell back from his blast.

“Wormhole!” Syn shouted an instant later. “Hard left!”

Nyk grit his teeth and jerked the ship towards the small dark space, but the League soldiers caught on quickly and came at them even harder, some moving to block their path. Nyk opened fire on them even as several of them began dropping from whatever the hell Nero was doing to them, and a terrible screeching noise of metal hitting metal of another ship sounded an instant before they disappeared safely through the hole. Syn let out a relieved breath, but it was short lived when he heard the unmistakable sound of someone retching behind them. 

“Nero!”

The Trisani wiped his mouth with a shaking hand and shook his head as Syn came flying from the helm to kneel by him.

“I’m okay.”

“Bullshit,” Syn responded angrily, though the anger wasn’t directed towards his mate. “We’re getting you to bed to rest.”

“Sher, I-”

“Will you shut up and let me take care of you?”

Nero fell silent as his mate lifted him from the floor and supported him with an arm around his waist - a touch very few were allowed - as he led him to a bed in the back. It wasn’t great, but it was dark and would give him at least some better comfort than the floor.

“Just rest. Please,” Syn begged quietly as he helped the Trisani lay down. Nero nodded. He wouldn’t admit it, but he hadn’t felt this bad in quite some time.

“...all right.”

The relief from the doctor was tangible, making Nero’s gut twist again at the stress he was causing his mate. Syn kissed his forehead lightly and smoothed his hair back before leaving him to the dark silence of the room. 

“How is he?” Nyk asked upon Syn’s return to the helm, flying quickly now to get away, but not quite as frantically. 

“Resting,” Syn replied with a sigh as he collapsed into the co-pilot’s chair again. The prince nodded and leaned back in his chair, tapping the link in his ear. 

“Hauk? How are we on charges? I doubt that’s the last we’ve seen of our friends.”

“Low,” Hauk replied, “but between the two we can still give them a short run. The ship feels pretty damaged, though.”

Nyk nodded, glancing at the colours flashing on the board in front of him. Pretty damaged was probably an understatement, but without being able to see it himself, he could only go off of what the system told him.

“We’ll make it home, so long as we don’t take much more damage.”

“Better start knocking on wood, gentlemen…” Darling’s voice interrupted, tight despite his attempt to stay calm, “because here they come.”

_...Say something, I’m giving up on you. I’m sorry that I couldn’t get to you…_

Nyk cursed as his screen suddenly began filling with white again, not only from the hole behind them, but another in front and off to the side. Syn sat up in the chair again to stare wide-eyed at the screen.

“You know, normally I love a good challenge, but this is getting ridiculous.”

“You knew they wouldn’t let us off easy,” Nyk grumbled as he turned to the left away from the two hoards. They had a good head start… if they could just outrun them.

“Not with the bounty amount on this ship, no.” Between the five of them, the price on their heads was staggering. Hell, the price on each alone was staggering enough, but combined was enough to make an assassin wet his pants. If the entire fleet after them split the coins, they could all retire and live comfortably for a long, long time.

“Hauk, spare as much of the charges as you can,” Nyk called over the coms as the ships started closing in.

“What, I can’t just fire randomly into space for the pretty effects?”

Syn snorted at the sarcastic reply as he stared at the screen, watching the dots moving closer to them. 

“Should we start taking bets on who they have the biggest hard on for?” Darling asked, getting a laugh from the Andarion. There really wasn’t anything funny about the situation, but the playful banter between the two unlikely friends was soothing and refreshing. Normal.

“That’d most likely be Nyk,” Dancer offered. “Or maybe you. You know, for the whole slaughtering their soldiers and leaving their heads on pikes on the front lawn thing.”

“You’re never gonna let me live that down, are you?”

Dancer laughed again, even as they watched the ships coming in through their protected window. “Hell no. I was actually kinda proud of you for it. Very Andarion.”

“Oh great, now I’m turning into you? And don’t forget we have a Trisani on board, too. Guarantee they want him just as bad.”

Nyk glanced at Syn, who swallowed harshly, still staring at the screen. Personally, he wasn’t sure who would be worse off if they got caught, but there was no mistaking that Nero was definitely fighting for top of the list.

“Ha, you couldn’t be me, midget. Too short and puny,” Dancer continued, oblivious to what was going on in the helm. “And doesn’t that mean they want you twice as badly?”

Darling opened his mouth to respond, but the ships were closing in fast, and he turned his attention to firing on those who got too close.

_...Anywhere I would have followed you. Say something, I’m giving up on you…_

_\--------------------------_

_“So does this star only work for Trisani?” Syn asked, trying to pull Nero from the thoughts he knew were running through his mate’s mind. Nero glanced up at him again, then tilted his head._

_“You mean would it work for other species?” He asked. Syn nodded, and Nero shrugged one shoulder. “Never thought about it. I suppose if they knew about it, and truly believed in it, then maybe.”_

_“And to know about it, they would have to know a Trisani well enough to be trusted with knowing their legends.”_

_Nero nodded again and offered his mate a small smile. “That’s true.”_

_“Well,” Syn said as he stared at the other, “I hope I never have to find out.”_

\--------------------------------------

“I think you pissed them off, aridos.”

Nyk grit his teeth at Hauk’s comment as he pushed the thrusters harder. His ship was faster than theirs, but she was damaged right now, and one of the engines wasn’t at one hundred percent. More like thirty, if he was honest with himself, but he didn’t want to think about engine failure right now. Not out here, and not like this.

“Just get them down,” he ordered the gunners as he dodged the first ship to reach them and began the dance once more. 

“Are they breeding out there?” Syn asked, grunting as the ship was blasted, causing more alarms to go off. “Losing shields…”

“I know,” Nyk growled softly, putting as much power as they could do without into the shields. Losing those would be almost as bad as losing an engine right now. “Just keep me notified of ships coming in.”

Syn nodded and kept watch, warning him when ships came up on the sides or front, but some of them were coming in too fast to even keep track of. There were just too many.

“Find me another wormhole, Sher. Now.”

“The only one on these maps is the one you went through to get here in the first place.”

Which was now behind them, with at least one hundred League ships between them and it. Shit. Nyk swallowed hard and pushed the thrusters again, grim determination on his face. Syn knew that look all too well.

“You’re not seriously going to try for it?”

“Everyone hold on. Going down,” Nyk warned in response, giving them about ten seconds before he dropped the ship down and flew under the ones chasing them. He heard Darling groan over the com, but no one lost their lunch from the sudden lurch, and it gave them a small window to get away before the League realized what had just happened.

“Coming in fast!” Syn warned as the dots suddenly changed course and came after them. “In front of you!”

Nyk jerked the ship to the side just as the enemy in front of them suddenly dropped from the sky, barely missing them in its collapse. 

Syn blinked. “Did you shoot them?”

“No,” Nyk responded as he avoided another that came straight at him. Yeah, they were getting desperate now. Once again, ships started dropping around them, and Syn cursed foully. “Stay!” Nyk ordered. It was a voice he normally didn’t use on his friends or family, and the bark caught Syn off guard for a moment before his gaze turned dark. 

“That’s Nero, and you know it!”

“And I need you here,” Nyk responded, his tone more gentle now, but still firm. “It won’t do any good to make him stop if it causes us to be caught and jailed.”

Syn clenched his fists in anger, but he knew his friend was right. Damn him, and damn them for putting them all in this position. Sitting back down, he strapped back in and leaned over the screen. 

“Coming in on your left.”

“Got it.”

_...And I… will swallow my pride. You’re the one that I love, and I’m saying goodbye…_

“Coming in behind you,” Nyk informed Hauk and Darling, though they didn’t need it. They could see the hoard of ships converging behind them, firing on the ship with everything they had. The two of them could barely see through all the colour, but at least they were far enough away that most of the shots were missing. Most of them. 

The ship jerked and shuddered around them with each blast that did make contact, and Syn swallowed harshly as he watched the shields drop further, along with one of their engines.

“Kip..” 

“I know,” Nyk responded as he aimed for empty space ahead of them. The wormhole was up there somewhere, if they could just make it…

And then what? The League would follow them again, and they’d be no better off, especially since they’d lost the element of surprise.

“Is there a neutral planet around to land on?”

Syn quickly grabbed the maps, then shook his head. “No… Nothing you’d want to land on or that we wouldn’t disintegrate upon contact with. Even my ship’s not that strong.”

And Syn’s ship was built for harsh environments just like that. Dammit. Nyk nodded in unhappy acceptance and kept aiming for empty space.

“Charges are gone,” came Darling’s warning, followed quickly by Hauk’s agreement that his were as well.

“And they know it, aridos. They’re coming up around the sides as fast as they can.”

“They’re closing us in,” Syn said quietly.

“Not if I can help it,” Nyk growled through gritted teeth as a League ship tried to block them off, only to fall from the sky like the rest before it. He knew what the action had to be causing Nero, but he’d never been more grateful for his abilities. If he could just keep it up a little longer, they might stand a chance.

“Nyk!” 

Nykyrian pulled back as the sky in front of them suddenly filled with League ships that came flooding from the wormhole he’d been heading towards. The ships behind them came up on their sides immediately as the ones in front came forward, leaving several by the wormhole to effectively block their escape. 

“Give it up, rats,” came the snotty voice of a League commander he didn’t recognize. “There’s nowhere to go.”

Nyk hated that cheesy line, but he remained silent as he stared at the army in front of them. If he’d been Caillen or any of their Tavalli friends, he would have had a library full of sarcastic comments, but as it was, all he could do was stare. The wheels were working, grinding in his brain, but he couldn’t see a way out. Not from this. Even if he dropped down or shot up from here, he didn’t know if the engines could do it, and if they got hit too many times in the process, or an engine blew out from the exertion… 

Maybe blowing up would be better. It would certainly be faster and less painful than what the League would do to them. 

“Hauk… Darling…” he called quietly over the coms, “any charges left at all?”

“Negative, Nyk,” Darling responded. “We’re drained dry.”

“And I don’t think hand blasters are gonna do the trick.”

Nyk let out a soft ‘heh’ at Hauk’s humor, followed by a deep silence throughout the ship, broken only by the beeping alarms. 

_...Say something, I’m giving up on you…_

“What the hell?”

Nyk glanced up at Syn’s exclamation, then blinked. One by one, the ships directly in front of them were blowing up. He checked his blaster, but it was off, and by the sound of Darling and Hauk’s surprised exclamations, it wasn’t them, either. The League officers began calling to each other in panic, asking… demanding… to know what was going on. A few started firing in panic, thinking it was the Sentella ship, and Nyk quickly took the opportunity to drop down below their range. 

_...And I’m sorry that I couldn’t get to you…_

The sky filled with fiery explosions that went out immediately, leaving only charred remains of the ships to fall endlessly through space. Nyk dodged the debris as he flew under the new fleet that had appeared, hoping those guarding the wormhole would be distracted enough for them to get through. He had a few shots left in his front blaster, and hoped they would be enough, if necessary.

“They’re following!” Hauk called in warning, then grunted as a shot struck them, sending the back of the ship fishtailing for a moment. 

Suddenly Syn was working frantically on his straps, hands shaking as he fought with them. In his awe and confusion, he hadn’t realized right away what was going on, but now that he knew…

Nyk tried to keep the ship steady, but it was growing difficult as more and more ships continued exploding and the remaining ones began shooting more desperately. The shields dropped further, almost gone now, but they were so close.

_...Anywhere I would have followed you…_

“Nero!” 

Syn’s cry was followed by a piercing scream as the ships around them began exploding almost all at once, giving Nyk a path to the wormhole. He flew through the debris, using the last few blasts on the larger pieces, and they were safely through.

“Nero!” Syn ran into the room, throwing the door open and turning on the light to find his mate bent over on the bed, holding his head as blood poured from his nose and drained from his ears and eyes. He cried his mate’s name again and moved to push his hands away, lifting Nero’s head to see the silver eyes now bright red from the exertion. Nero’s breathing was ragged as he stared unseeing at his mate.

“Nero, what did you do?!”

_….Say something, I’m giving up on you…_

“Nero, no. Stay with me. Please don’t leave me…”

_...Say something, I’m giving up on you…_

“We’re clear,” Nyk’s quiet voice came over the intercom. “Hauk and Darling, come back up here, please.”

“Nero, answer me. Say something, please…”

Nero attempted to speak, choked on blood, and took a shaky breath as he lifted a bloodied hand to place on his mate’s cheek. 

“I wasn’t… wasn’t letting you… go back to.. t-to jail…” he managed to cough out before his eyes slid shut. Syn choked as well as tears filled his dark eyes, clinging to his mate’s hand to hold against his face.

“Nero…”

_“I love you… Sheridan…”_

_...Say something..._


	2. Chapter 2

_Once upon a time  
I used to romanticize  
Used to be somebody, never mind  
Don't miss it that much now..._

“Nero…”

_“I love you… Sheridan…”_

Syn choked as Nero’s words echoed softly in his head before his mate’s hand slid off his own, his body falling limp in the doctor’s arms. He drew a few ragged breaths, staring at the Trisani and hoping beyond hope that he would open those beautiful silvery eyes again. 

But there was nothing. All around him alarms were still blaring, but nothing reached his ears except radio silence. 

_“I love you… Sheridan…”_

Gods, how he hated that name, and yet coming from Nero he had almost enjoyed it. Only he and Nykyrian had ever been allowed to call him that anymore, and while Nyk’s was always to get his attention in a dire situation, Nero’s had become almost a sort of endearment. Something he knew Syn hated, and yet had made it okay. Nero was good like that.

He felt the ship wobble a bit before evening out, and vaguely heard Nyk’s voice on the radio calling that they were clear. Heard Darling and Hauk respond to the request for them to return up front, though there were no footsteps in the hallway. Silent even in chaos.

_“The Mourning Star is one that we pray to after the loss of a loved one. It’s said in legend to help one ease through the mourning period by taking the pain offered to it and leaving the praying Trisani with only positive memories of the lost soul.”  
“So the star takes away the pain of the loss?”  
“That’s what the legend says.”  
“And does it work?”  
“Sometimes. I’ve been told it depends how hard you pray, and the circumstances surrounding the death.”  
“It doesn’t seem fair that the amount you pray affects your relief. Some people are too far lost in grief to even think to pray… or too angry.”  
“No, it doesn’t seem fair at all…”_

Syn choked again, tears streaking his face as he held Nero in his arms against his own trembling body, careless of the blood covering his clothes. 

_“So does this star only work for Trisani?”  
“Never thought about it. I suppose if they knew about it, and truly believed in it..._

Up in the cockpit, Nyk managed to bring the damaged ship down to land none-too-gently in the hangar, all of them grimacing at the metal on concrete screech. Finally the ship stopped, and Nyk unstrapped to stand, meeting the concerned looks of Darling and Hauk when he turned.

“That was Nero… Wasn’t it?” Darling asked quietly. Nyk nodded, and the other two lowered their gazes. 

“We need to get off the ship,” Nyk said, his voice quiet and gentle with a sadness he didn’t often feel. The other two nodded and moved from their seats.

“What about Syn? And Nero?”

“I’ll get them…” Nyk responded, ushering them off the ship, but Darling hung back.

“We should call Hadrian. He should know.”  
“If he doesn’t already,” Hauk added from the ramp. Nyk nodded once more.

“Call him. He should be here.”

They both inclined their heads and left the ship, leaving Nykyrian alone. He let out a slow breath and glanced towards the back in regret. He didn’t want to go back there, didn’t want to see Nero dead because of him, or the look in Syn’s eyes. He knew how much it had taken for his friend to trust another that closely, and to then lose that person… He couldn’t even imagine. Sighing heavily, he moved to the door and paused there, hand on the knob as he listened to the quiet crying inside.

_Don't you move  
Can't you stay where you are, just for now  
I could be your perfect disaster  
You could be my ever after…_

Opening the door, Nyk swallowed harshly at the amount of blood covering the sheets. His eyes trailed up from the floor to the pale hand dangling from Syn’s arms, bloody and dripping to the carpet. Then the Trisani in his arms, the way Syn’s shoulders were trembling, the blast marks on the walls that must have come from Nero’s last power wave. As an assassin, Nykyrian had seen a lot of death and gore and dismay, but this… this was awful.

Syn didn’t look up when the door opened, but jerked when he felt the hand on his shoulder and looked up with eyes so lost and distraught that it made Nyk’s heart stop dead in his chest. Nero’s eyes, thankfully, were closed, but Nyk could see the blood drying around them and in the Trisani’s hair. So much blood with no visible wounds. Gods, how much their lives had cost him.

“...we need to go inside.” Nyk’s voice sounded dull even to his own ears, and Syn stared at him as if not understanding. 

“He’s gone…”

The emptiness of Syn’s voice clenched Nyk’s heart once more. His friend, who had been through so much and survived the very depths of hell, now lost and sounding like a child again. It brought back a lot of memories he didn’t want to think about right now.

“Let’s get him inside and cleaned up. You, too.”

Syn glanced down at the body in his arms and the blood covering himself, then swallowed harshly and nodded as he began to shift off the bed.

“Can I hel-” “NO!” Syn snapped, holding Nero tighter against himself. Nyk stepped back instantly and moved to open the door for him to carry the Trisani through instead. He wouldn’t lie and say he understood the pain, but he knew where the anger was coming from. He could only imagine if this were his mate lying dead in a pool of blood.

Inside the base, Nyk opened doors for Syn until they were in the doctor’s office, where Nero was laid gently on the hospital bed many of them had been on before, most of them numerous times. Syn had saved all of their lives more than once, but this time… this time wouldn’t be one of those times. Nyk watched as his friend carefully placed Nero’s arms on the bed before walking away to get rags and a bucket of warm water.

“Can I help you?” he asked quietly. Syn shook his head.

“He wouldn’t like that.”

Bowing his head to him, Nyk stepped back out of the room and closed the door before turning to lean against it with a sigh, removing his glasses and pinching the bridge of his nose. What a day. 

“Hadrian will be here soon. He and Chayden were leaving immediately.” Darling’s voice sounded nearby, and he opened his eyes to see sad blue ones staring up at him. “...is he really gone?”

Nyk let his hand drop and nodded slightly. “Yeah. He’s gone, Dar.”

A soft sniffle and a shaky breath sounded before Darling spoke again.

“Stupid question, but… is Syn all right?”

The assassin snorted in response, not to be rude, but because he couldn’t think of anything better. “No. Not really.”

Darling nodded slightly and bowed his head, shoving his hands into his pockets. “Will you keep us updated? Hauk and I don’t want to bother him.”

“Of course,” Nyk responded, reaching out to gently place a hand on the other’s fiery hair before the other walked away back to the office he shared with Hauk. He watched him go, then sighed again and headed to the kitchen for a drink. There was nothing he could do right now but be there for his friend and to wait for Hadrian to arrive, then hopefully attempt to calm that emotional storm as best he could.

_And I breathe disaster, ever after  
Don't pull away from me now…_

Soon enough the roar of engines sounded outside. Nyk glanced towards the door, downing the rest of his drink and moving to put the glass in the kitchen before the door to the base opened to admit Hadrian and Chayden, both of whom were obviously distraught.

“Nero… where’s Nero?” Hadrian asked, nearly frantic as he burst inside. Nyk left the kitchen to meet him, placing his hands on each of the younger Trisani’s arms. 

“He’s with Syn right now, and Syn might not be in the right state of mind to let you in right no-”

“That’s my brother, dammit! My brother!” Hadrian cried, struggling away from him. “Where is he!?”

Chayden gave Nyk an apologetic glance when they met gazes, and Nyk sighed before motioning to Syn’s office. Hade took off across the base, not bothering to knock before he stepped inside and closed the door behind him.

“Sorry. I tried to calm him down on the way here, but…”  
Nyk shook his head, dismissing the apology. “Don’t apologize for a person’s grief, Aniwaya. It’s not something we can or should control.”

Chayden nodded silently and raked a hand through his curls. “This really… really sucks. I mean, Nero wasn’t all too fond of me most of the time, but he was still a friend, and Hade… Nero was all he had left, you know?”

“I know.”  
“...this sucks.”  
“I know…”  
\-----------------------------------  
Inside the office, Syn had just managed to get Nero completely cleaned off and covered with a blanket before Hadrian arrived, and while he would have been angry at anyone else for the intrusion, there was no way to be angry as Hadrian sobbed over his deceased older brother. Grief struck him hard, harder than his own, as he watched the Trisani bent over in a chair, crying into his hands. He had known Nero almost his entire life, and yet still their relationship paled in comparison. Nero had been the one who saved Hadrian’s life, had protected him at the risk of his own life for years until Hadrian had been strong enough to be on his own. Even then, Nero had kept his baby brother a secret from all of them for quite a long time. Always he had done anything and everything to keep him safe from harm, and now he was gone.

“I’m sorry, Hadrian,” Syn whispered once the other’s sobs had quieted. The apology felt empty, useless, but what else was there really to say?

Hadrian nodded and wiped at his eyes, then grabbed a tissue to dry them and blow his nose. “Is it true…? He did this to save all of you?”

Syn swallowed harshly. _“I wasn’t… wasn’t letting you… go back to.. t-to jail…”_ Nero had always protected him, ever since the day they had broken out of jail that first time. Nero had known what would happen if they got caught, and had given his life so all of them could keep theirs. 

“Yeah, Hade. It’s true.”

The younger Trisani nodded again and stared at his brother in silence for a few moments before taking a shaky breath. “At least I know… at least I know he died by his own choice. We all fear a death by the Chillers, or by some random bastard who happens to get lucky, but he chose how he would go, and he knew what it would cost him.” He trailed off and glanced to the doctor with bloodshot eyes. “...he loved you so much. I hope you know that.”

A lump in his throat nearly choked him, but Syn held it back as he nodded. “...I know he did, and I loved him just as much, if not more.”

“What about me?”

Syn blinked and tilted his head, caught off-guard by the unexpected question. “What do you mean, what about you?”

“Do you still love me, too? Not.. not like you loved Nero, but…” he trailed off and lowered his gaze, fidgeting his hands. “Nero said you two were married, so that makes you my brother-in-law. You’re kind of the only family I really have left now, other than Chayden, and…”

“You want me to be your brother?” Syn asked in quiet shock, realizing where the explanation was going.  
Hade bit his lip. “You don’t have to, I just… I’ve never not had one, and it feels so weird not having someone to nag on me constantly. You know…?”

Syn didn’t know, but he nodded regardless and stepped over to kneel in front of the younger Trisani, taking his fidgeting hands into his own as he stared up at him.

“I’ll always be your brother, Hadrian, and I’ll always make sure you’re taken care of, even if it means nagging on you from time to time. You’ll never have to worry again.”

Tears burned in Hadrian’s eyes as he squeezed Syn’s hand, the only way he could hug him without making the doctor uncomfortable.

“...thank you.”

_Don't you move  
Can't you stay where you are, just for now  
I could be your perfect disaster  
You could my ever after…_

Days passed. Nero stayed in Syn’s office so they could all say their goodbyes in an odd sort of wake while they planned the funeral, and the elder Trisani, prince of their fallen kingdom, was laid to rest on a beautifully sunny day that seemed to mock the sullen mood. 

“Hadrian, do you know about the Mourning Star?” Syn asked once everyone else had left, leaving just the two of them at the gravesite. 

Hade seemed surprised for a moment. “Nero told you about that?”

“Parts of it. He never told me where to look for it, or how to go about praying to it.”  
“I’m sorry…”

Syn shrugged slightly and lifted his face to the sun. “I was hoping maybe you could tell me. He wasn’t sure if it worked for non-Trisani, but… what the hell, right? Can’t hurt.”

Hade nodded in agreement and lifted his chin as well, watching the wispy clouds float by.

“No… no, it couldn’t hurt.”  
\-------------------------------  
That night, in the clear skies of summer, Hadrian showed Syn where their Mourning Star was. Strange, Syn thought, that the star of another planet could be seen from their own, but Hadrian explained that there was a Mourning Star on every planet, deemed as such by Trisani who had travelled from their homeland before the final slaughter. 

And so they prayed. Holding hands in the grass of an empty field, silent except the whispers of the wind, they prayed for Nero to finally find peace, and that from that they themselves and each other may also find peace from their grief. They prayed for hours, until the sky began to turn pink and orange and the stars began to fade away into the disappearing night, and with it, Hadrian felt his grief fading as well. The pain was still there, a soreness in his heart, but the grief of loss was gone. 

But for Syn, the morning light brought nothing but betrayal. He had prayed to his own gods every night since his mate’s death, and now all night to the Mourning Star of his mate’s religion, yet still his heart lay torn and shredded at his feet, his soul howling with loss and grief and despair. 

_“I suppose that answers my question, Nero,”_ he thought to himself silently as he watched the sun paint the sky. _“It doesn’t work for low-life humans…”_

Sighing heavily, he turned to Hadrian, glad at least to see the clearness of the other’s eyes. “Feel better?”

“I do,” Hadrian said, offering him a small smile. “What about you?”

Syn nodded, forcing himself to return the smile. “Shall we go home? I have some business to take care of. Sort of been lacking this week.”

Hade nodded and took his hand, the only touch he insisted on, and the two of them walked back home, with only Syn giving his mate’s grave one last glance. 

_Once upon a time  
This place was beautiful and mine  
But now it's just a bottom line  
Barely comes to mind  
But ever after was mine…_

Back at the base, they parted ways so Hadrian could go see Chayden and the others, while Syn passed by towards his office. The whole place felt so empty now, despite the buzz of activity. Nero had helped so many people in his life, and it seemed all of them had come for his funeral, most of them Tavali and Sentella, making the area quite crowded. Only Nyk was off by himself, and managed to cut Syn off as he stepped out of the kitchen.

“Did it help?” the assassin asked, never much one for preliminaries, though Syn could hear the concern in his voice nonetheless.  
“Yeah,” he lied, not meeting his gaze for fear his eyes would give him away. “It helped a lot. Just like he said.” 

Nyk nodded and placed a gentle hand on Syn’s shoulder for just a moment before withdrawing it again. “Good. If you need anything…”

“You’ll be in the kitchen, making food almost as fast as they can eat it,” Syn finished for him, getting a soft ‘heh’ from his friend before a call for more food rang out, pulling Nyk away back to the kitchen. Syn watched him go, then stood there in the hallway, watching his friends and what little family he had as they chattered about the male they had lost. The sounds washed over him, filling him with a sense of calm he hadn’t felt since the passing of his mate, and he let out a slow breath before turning to head towards his office again. There was a lot of business he needed to care for now, and he needed some quiet time to do it. Inside, he closed and locked the door behind him, effectively blocking out the sounds from the gathering, and moved to sit at his desk where he pulled a folded envelope from one of the locked drawers. His will was written inside, but now he adjusted it, leaving everything he owned to Hadrian. 

_So you’ll always be taken care of. I love you, and I'm sorry. ~ Syn_

 

Taking the smaller note paper, he taped it to the will and refolded it, placing it back in its envelope and setting the pen back in its holder. This office had been his for so long, full of memories good and bad, and Syn sat there for a while just taking it all in, letting the memories appear in the room like holograms to replay the movie of his life. It felt like hours passed as he sat there, and yet no time seemed to pass at all. Perhaps this was the peace he had prayed for. Peace not just from the grief, but from himself. From everything.

Syn got to his feet and pushed in the chair, leaving the office immaculate as always, and left the office. Down the hall was the darkroom they had built special for the Trisani… a dark room where no light nor sound could penetrate the thick walls. It was here he stepped inside and closed the door behind him, then moved through the darkness to lay on the bed that still smelled of his mate. 

_I'll be your disaster, ever after..._

The silence was soothing as he lay there, inhaling the scent of his mate. If he closed his eyes, he could almost hear Nero whining at him that he didn’t need to stay here, that he was fine and didn’t need to rest. But Syn always knew, just as Nero had always known what Syn needed. The only person he’d ever allowed to be so close.

_So fire away…_

Swallowing hard, Syn sat up on the bed, clutching one pillow to his chest and bowing his head so his mate filled his senses. This was all he wanted now; nothing more than his mate would suffice. With one hand clinging to the pillow, the other picked up his blaster where it sat on top of the envelope holding his will. Maybe they would check on him soon. Maybe not until tomorrow. Maybe not for a few days, if they didn’t think to look here. Either way, the will would be there, and Hadrian, as promised, would always be cared for. Closing his eyes, he held the blaster to his temple and let out a dry, choking sob as he whispered his love for his mate.. Just one more time. 

_Goodbye..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This wasn't originally going to have a part two, but it just felt incomplete to me, so... here it is. I apologize for tears. *Casually leaves tissue box and cookies on the table*
> 
> The song is "Ever After" by Mariana's Trench. I own nothing but the storyline and the Mourning Star.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are much loved and appreciated <3


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